I Love to See the Temple

Yesterday I went to St. Louis to the temple. I usually don't bring my camera with me but I decided to take some shots. Because of how the temple is situated (on a hill) it is hard to get good shots but here are a few.




I am very grateful that Families Are Forever and that I am sealed to mine. Today I learned that a young couple I met when I first moved here, there 10 month old son died in his bed last Friday. He was so very cute and so very perfect. They were so very happy and now are having such a hard time. It makes me so sad for them and the time they lost with their beautiful son.

Some Family Pictures

I have been bugging my mom about getting a picture of the four people that live at the house right now: Mama, Daddy, Mandy and Nathan and when they where in Florida last week they took some.  Here they are.

The foursome. (Not the best of Mandy)

I like this one better.

The two troublemakers.

Princess Mandy

Nathan

My beautiful Mama

My handsome Daddy

Data Collection - Check

Anyone that knows me well knows I like to check things off my lists and so I did - I checked off collect data/conduct interviews for my dissertation. The things about lists are that they are a little deceptive sometimes - this makes it sounds like I did one thing and then checked it off but in reality it took 2 months of my time (obviously not all of my time but some of it) - just saying.

That means that I need to transcribe now - I have done 2 of 18 - 1/9 of the way through wohoooo! Just like I asked for a secretary the other day if there is anyone that is in the neighborhood and wants to sit hours on end typing what two people jabbered about then come on down - I will even make you dinner!

The great thing is that I finished in less time than I gave myself - I said by the end of July and really I finished Tuesday - the last week of May! So I am a little ahead of myself. I have one year to:
* transcribe
* code
* find themes
* write up my results
* work with my committee, etc
* finish my Boone County Health Department Internship
* write 2 papers with the BCHD people
* finish my State Internship
* finish 7 course (at least)
* do my full-time job
* teach in the Fall and Winter
* find a job I want

So just a few things to go!!! I think I can do it - at least I better be able to.

More Goodies

Butterfinger Cheesecake Bites

1 c. ground Vanilla Wafers
2 Tbsp. granulated sugar
2 Tbsp. butter
1/8 tsp salt

8 oz softened cream cheese
1/4 c. creamy peanut butter
1/2 c. sugar
1 egg
2 Tbsp. heavy cream
1/8 tsp salt
4 Fun Size Butterfinger Candy Bars, crushed

1 c. semi sweet chocolate chips (we used melted Marabou chocolate instead.. it isn't as waxy)
2-3 Tbsp. heavy cream

2 Fun Size Butterfinger, crushed

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place cookie crumbs, sugar, butter and salt into a bowl; mix to combine. Spoon mixture into bottoms of mini cheesecake pan or mini cupcake pan and press. Bake for 10 minutes and remove from oven.

Reduce heat to 300 degrees. In a stand or electric mixer, beat cream cheese and peanut butter until smooth. Beat sugar, egg, cream and salt until well combined. Slowly stir in crushed Butterfinger. Evenly pour batter over baked crust. Bake for 20-22 minutes or until cheesecake is set. Let cool for 2 hours, then remove from pan.

Melt chocolate chips in microwave in 30 second intervals until smooth. Stir in cream until smooth and glossy. If needed, return back to microwave for 15 seconds or so until smooth. Spoon over tops of cakes then sprinkle crushed butterfinger over top.

Quote of the Day

"We can do the work of the Lord in His way when we seek, receive, and act on personal revelation. Without personal revelation, we cannot succeed. If we heed personal revelation, we cannot fail. The prophet Nephi instructs us that the Holy Ghost will show us 'all things what [we] should do' (2 Nephi 32:5). It was prophesied that in the latter days the Lord would pour out His Spirit upon His handmaids (see Joel 2:29). This will happen as we allow ourselves to be still enough and quiet enough to listen to the voice of the Spirit. Elder Neal A. Maxwell taught us that receiving revelation for our calling and in our personal lives 'requires serious mental effort on our part. . . . Revelation is not a matter of pushing buttons, but of pushing ourselves, often aided by fasting, scripture study, and personal pondering." 'Most of all, revelation requires us to have a sufficient degree of personal righteousness, so that on occasion revelation may come to the righteous, unsolicited' ('Revelation,' First Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, Jan. 11, 2003, 5)."

Julie B. Beck, "Fulfilling the Purpose of Relief Society," Ensign, Nov. 2008, 111

Happy Memorial Day!

Today we celebrate all those who have served and died for this country, as well as those we love who have gone before us. I am tremendously grateful for all of the soldiers that have, are, or will serve these great United States in defending our freedoms and our home. I am related to some, unfortunately I do not have many pictures on my computer, so I am just not going to include any.

Robert Glenn Ball, my paternal grandfather, was a pilot in WWII and the Korean War in which he died. He was a great solider, husband and father.

Wallace Lee Belcher (Pepa), my maternal grandfather, joined the Navy at 17 and served in the Pacific during WWII. He also was a great solider, husband, father, and still is a great Pepa to all of his grand kids.

I have many great uncles that fought during WWII - my Grandma always was so good at going and putting flowers on their graves. The ones I knew best were Otto Pitt (Butch), Ivan Pitt, and Eddie. One of them I think Ivan (not sure) brought back the china that I use. It was made in Japan during the war and he brought it back for my great grandma.

Then there are more recent soldiers that lucky for us are still around. My brother-in-law Benjamin Thomas Lowe served in the Army in Iraq and still works there as a civilian.

My good friend Dallas served in the Navy before I meet her.

Then there are those that I just get to remember on this day of memories. Both of my grandmothers passed away in a 18 months time period. Leona Faye Pitt Ball and Glowie Mae Pickard Belcher - I miss them all of the time and sure hope this gets easier over time.

I also have some babies that we miss in our family.
Mary Ann Ball (Feb. 20, 1980) my little sister.
Benjamin Jason Turpin ( December 10, 1994)my nephew.
Declan Thomas Lowe (February 2, 2007)my nephew.

I have another look alike

If you know my family you know that I have a sister (Asia) who is 7.5 years younger than me that looks a whole lot like me (my twin).
Then there is my niece Samantha (Sammi) that is my identical twin some 23 years later (thanks for providing her Shelly) and her little sister Elizabeth (Lizzy) that looks a lot like me and Asia (a little more like Asia, but hard to say since Asia and I look so much alike).

Now Asia has provided us with another sweet baby look alike - Princess Aurora Faye.
Shelly always jokes that maybe when I have a baby that she will look like Shell - we will see - I think that whatever genes I got are stronger!!

5 of Shelly's 6 girls - Becca, Sammi, Jessi, Lizzy and Joy

Life

My life is crazy like most peoples - days taken up by work, interviews, callings, friends, etc. and with all of that I check Google reader religiously as I await word on my little niece. My sister and brother-in-law are hero's - they are adopting our beautiful Arabella Michele Hope Turpin and have been fighting for her life ever since they got to meet her in Jan. Bella's poor little body has been through so much and worried us so much, so many prayers have been sent up in her behalf and yet understanding the Lord's will is never easy or understandable to this very human heart. I know that Bella has taught us all many things about love, patience, the Lord's timing and willing, strength in prayer and family and that we can truly learn to pray for the Lord's will with all the intensity of our hearts.
My wish and prayer is for Bella to go home and live a "normal" life (with a trac, etc.) and that the Turpin family be able to be back together again. I have learned that the Lord allows us to see bits and pieces of the plan and that allows us a more eternal perspective, more strength to overcome and the opportunity to rely more heavily on Him and others.
If you want to learn more about Bella click here.

Please pray for Bella and her family!

Dissertation Update

My data collection is going really fast. If all goes as planned (the woman remember to show up) I will have 18 done by Friday night and I think I really only need 20!!!! YEAH for me! I am poor because of buying 20 gift cards for $20 each but thankfully my tax return was sufficient to cover these. I just am so grateful that it was the perfect amount of money after I paid $418 to the state of Missouri in taxes - blasted state taxes - another reason to leave here when I graduate. :)

I meet with my advisor next week and by then I should be done with data collection or at least I hope to be. She seemed to think that it went really fast - me not so much but it is because I have been working on this idea for over a year now. The end is in sight and that is really exciting to me!

In case you were in need of a chocolate overdose

Cake Balls
1 (18.25 ounce) package of chocolate cake mix
1 (16 ounce) container of chocolate frosting
1 (3 ounce) bar of chocolate flavored confectioners coating or candy melts from Joann Fabrics or Micheals.

Directions:
Prepare he cake mix according to the package directions using any of the recommended pan sizes. When cake is done crumble/scoop out while warm into a large bowl.
Stir in frosting a little at a time. If you want them to be more cake like use less frosting. Continue to stir until well blended.
Use a melon baller, small scoop or just use your hands to make small balls out of the cake mixture.
Put on cookie sheet and place in fridge for 20-30 minutes to firm up, this will help you when you dip them in the chocolate.
Melt your chocolate according to directions until smooth. Then dip balls into chocolate using a toothpick. Place on wax paper to set.

The great thing about this recipe is that you can make so many different combinations like:

white cake with mint choc. chip icing dipped in chocolate confectioners coating
red velvet cake with cream cheese icing dipped in vanilla confectioners coating
carrot cake with cream cheese frosting dipped in vanilla confectioners coating

Homemade Jello Pudding Pops
2 cups Cold Milk
1 pkg. (4 serving size) JELL-O Chocolate Flavor Instant Pudding and Pie Filling
1 cup Cool Whip
5 (5-oz) Paper or Plastic Cups
5 Popsicle sticks

Pour milk into a medium bowl. Add dry pudding mix. Beat with a wire whisk 2 minutes. Stir in cool whip until blended.
Spoon evenly into 5 (5-oz) paper or plastic cups. Insert a wooden popsicle stick into the center of each cup for the handles. Place cups in a 8X8 pan, cover with plastic wrap and freeze 5 hours or until firm. To remove pops from cups, place bottoms of cups under warm running water for about 15 seconds. Press firmly on bottoms of cups to release pops. (Do not twist or pull popsicle sticks.) Store leftover pops in freezer.

The Destructive D's

This morning the conference talk I read with my scriptures was "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ" by Elder Kevin W. Pearson. If you haven't had a chance to read it you should take the time - it is a really good talk, at least for me. He talks about having faith and challenges and then he gives 6 D's that destroy our faith. It was the Lord's answer to all my frustration and worry - that and some good talks with great friends! I typed them up and posted them on my bedroom door so I thought I would share with the blogging world.

The “Six Destructive Ds”

All erode and destroy our faith – we can choose to avoid and overcome them.

Doubt

A negative emotion related to fear – it comes from a lack of confidence in one’s self or abilities – it is inconsistent with out divine identity as children of God

Discouragement

Comes from missed expectations – chronic discouragement leads to lower expectations, decreased effort, weakened desire, and greater difficulty feeling and following the Spirit

Distraction

A lack of focus – eliminates the very focus the eye of faith requires – discouragement and distraction are 2 of Satan’s most effective tools, but are also bad habits.

Lack of Diligence

A reduced commitment to remain true and faithful and to carry on through despite hardship and disappointment

Disobedience

Undermines the very basis of faith – often the result of disbelief, the conscious or unconscious refusal to believe

Disbelief

The state of having chosen to harden one’s heart – to be past feeling

Graduate School

Warning - I am going to complain so if you don't want to read me complaining than wait till I post again.

Sometimes I really hate graduate school here. I have an advisor that could care less if I graduate with a PhD or not. I don't have anyone that is really much on my side of trying to accomplish too much in one year (except Patti, my boss) and so that is really frustrating. I just wish I had a good strong pusher (I know not really a word) behind me to help me, advise me, and actually sit down and listen to what I am finding and help me make sense of it.

Where did this complaining come from you ask? Well, tonight we had a graduation party for a friend that graduated yesterday with her PhD and so her parents and boss hosted a dinner party. Her advisor was there and her friends, co-workers, etc. Well after dinner her boss got up and gushed and gushed about her - how wonderful she is, her accomplishments, etc. It was a nice tribute to her and what she has accomplished so I was happy for her but then there was the selfish part of me that wished there was someone that would want to do that for me, besides my wonderful family and friends. I usually convince myself that that is enough but it was hard tonight and it just made me sad - I am a little PMSy so that probably played into it as well. Just thought I would vent.
PS - I'm not fishing for compliments but this blog is somewhat like my journal so sometimes there is a little pity party on the screen. :) Really I just want to be done and have a normal job away from all this stress.

Thank Goodness it's Friday

Wow what a week! This week is graduation for MU and so campus is crazy busy wit students, parents, faculty that look especially spiffy today,etc. Next year at this time I will be graduating with both of my degrees - hooray and wow that is scary! Every once and a while I panic at having to find a job in this oh so great economy. I read somewhere that it take 10 years for a graduate during a recession to make the same as one who graduated during a prosperous time! 10 YEARS!!!! That is crazy to me - all those poor undergraduates taking jobs for $12 an hour - completely nuts! And so I have some anxiety about that - thus my previous post about needing a secretary at this point in the game and amazingly no takers - no one so desperate and bored out there to do it!
I now have 11 interviews complete and several others complete - I am finding interesting things and having a fun trying to figure out what it all means. I am so grateful that things are working out as well as they have. I want to be done with data collection by the end of June and move on to analysis so that I can give my silly committee lots of time to figure out what they want to change when I write it up.
So what happened this week - finished my classes - I got 2 A's and 1 B (the average of the class was an 80% and I got a 85.5% so still a B but that is OK with me). I did 4 or 5 interviews this week and set up several more. I worked at the State and mainly sat there - it was an off day - found out my immediate supervisor has been moved and found out what that means for me.
Last Saturday a friend of mine that I VT graduated from college - she is a single mom and this has been a long ride so Heather and I went and watched her graduate - just as boring as I remember. That night Alison and I celebrated her and her birthday - we had some really yummy itialian food.
Most nights I was completely tired and got home between 7-8 so not much transcribing happened - I have to force myself - I have 10 dissertation interviews and 5 or 6 other ones! The time I have is just not spent wanting to sit and type what I heard but it has to be done so it will happen.
Tomorrow I am getting up and going to the temple then to Shreya's graduation party. Her parents are here and are making us an Indian feast! Yummy - you know I will be there for that!
Not sure there is much more going on except that I have a new stupid doctor - very frustrating bad experience that I am hoping to get a new doctor instead of ever going back to him!

Monday

Yesterday I didn't feel well and stayed home from church to recuperate, even missed out on my friend Carol's yummy cooking later in the day. So then came Monday morning - not my favorite day of the week - but this Monday and next I am my State internship - where it is the most relaxing of anything I do. No pressure, no huge workload, no anything really - its great. I like when the week starts off good -now if I could just get rid of my headache and not feel so incredibly tired that would be great.

In the last couple of weeks more and more people have been asking me what I am going to do when I am done - well duh I have no idea that is a year a way at least maybe even a month or two more! How am I supposed to know - oh, you want a general idea - the answer remains the same. I am looking at fellowship, jobs, etc but I think I need a secretary - I don't have time to keep up with it all and need to start a spreadsheet to do so but then there is the time thing again. You are probably thinking that if you just stop typing about it and do it you would find the time - well I am on lunch break and need to start working again soon so probably not. Like how I have an excuse for everything? So if anyone wants to be my secretary and start investigating the fellowships, jobs, etc. I would love you forever!

When I was looking through pictures yesterday trying in vain to make a movie of them (failed miserably) I noticed that the little white, purple, red dress that I have on in the picture with Bob and Shelly ( we are probably 1,3,5) is the same one Shelly had on when she was 3 and I was 1 in another picture - thought is was funny - was to recycle those handmade clothes Mama! (I will post the other when I get home so you can see what I mean.) Nice face I am making!

Mothers Day Tribute to My Mama

I have the best mom ever - I am sure that most people feel that way but when I say it is really true! When I think about my childhood I always think of how enchanted it was. Growing up I always knew that my parents loved me and wanted me. They cared for me, taught me, sacrificed for me, put up with my crazy emotions and moods, seemed to enjoy being around me and tried so hard to make sure that I was happy.

My mom has taught me so many things over the years. She spent countless hours with a very frustrated kid (me) trying to learn to read, but she always encouraged me and I can't remember her ever getting frustrated or angry at me. I hope she thinks it paid off because I do! I would never had made it this far in my life, education, career if not for that devoted time to me - how do I ever repay that?

Some random memories of my mom. She always made holidays wonderful. We decorated, made cookies, ate yummy food, candy, etc. We had parties and played games, we had fun traditions and continue to make them as we grow.

My favorite Christmas memory is of 1984, that year we went on vacation to Australia and New Zealand for a month (I think that is the right amount of time). We had a great time - it was amazingly beautiful. We got a little tree and made decorations and hung them in our RV. We all bought tiny gifts for each other and opened them on Christmas morning. My parents told us that Santa must have got confused and taken our toys to Balkipapan and left them there - we being the trusting kids believed them! I was 9 and being to not believe but when we got home a miracle had happened! We walked into our home, that had not been decorated before we left, to a Christmas miracle - the tree, lights, stocking, toys - it was all there and my unbelief became belief in one view of the room. Santa didn't only exist but he was a great decorator as well. Later I learned that it was my moms good friend that did all the work - to a child it was amazing!

When we were really little my mom made all of our clothing - we matched most of the time. Shelly and I loved it - we would even ask her to do our hair the same way!
My parents joined the church after I was born and I always tell people that the gospel gave me 7 other siblings! I am so very grateful for them and her willingness to teach me to love all children and embrace them for who they are.

 
I love that my mom is still a mom of little kids - it is a great advantage to see my mom pray, ponder and wonder about Mandy and Nathan. Why you ask? I think back as a kid and it seemed like there were never struggles or worries she had as a mom - I know that is not true but that is how I remember it! And now I see how she solves these problems, issues or fears and she is a great example to us again.

My mom taught me or inspired me in many ways, here are some of the things I have learned in the last 33 years at her side:

• to learn - she was always reading, taking classes
• to cook - she is a great cook
• to love
• to forgive
• to enjoy the beauty of the earth
• to have fun and enjoy life
• to be grateful
• to serve - she has always served others willingly and without compliant
• to travel - my wanderlust comes from both of my parents but mainly from my mom
• to work hard - she was always a good example of this
• to sew - something I have done consistently longer than anything else in my life
• to make the most of the experiences we have
• to spend time with the people that are important to us
• to take pictures of landscapes - somewhat of a family joke
• to sacrifice
• to be patient - with others, time, things we want
• to love the Lord and the gospel

Quote for the day

"Too frequently, women underestimate their influence for good. Well could you follow the formula given by the Lord: 'Establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God' (D&C 88:119)."In such a house will be found happy, smiling children who have been taught, by precept and example, the truth. In a Latter-day Saint home, children are not simply tolerated, but welcomed; not commanded, but encouraged; not driven, but guided; not neglected, but loved."

Thomas S. Monson

I love President Monson, his sweetness, kindness and gentleness. I think that if we strive to make our homes this way than we will be happy and so will all that live there.

Painting a picture

The other day while standing in my kitchen looking at my calendar for the year - pictures of the Savior - Kim asked me if I could paint a picture of one of the stories of Christ what it would be. So, I had to pretend that I could actually paint and said the woman with the issue of blood. I think she had amazing faith and was blessed for it by the Savior, who not only healed her but also took the time to find her and recognize her faith. I have what would be considered an issue of blood for a while now, as have many woman I know, and so it is dearer to my heart and I love that the Savior showed how personal and indiviudal the gospel is with a simple question of who touched me.

What story would you paint? Why?

Confused

Well I have been working on my dissertation and I am confused. I keep thinking that at some point I might hear something I thought I would but no - that would be way too easy! So, I just keep on doing interviews in the hope that something will start to make sense to me. I guess I should clarify - I understand what they are saying just not why - what is different about these woman than the woman in the literature? I guess I will have to wait and see what happens but patience is really not a strong suit of mine so I keep talking to people about it and wondering out loud how it works - I need to talk with my advisor and Linda but this is the last week of the semester and it is crazy busy for everyone so I can wait.
Any thoughts about this?

GPS

My sister, Shelly, asked me to post more often while her baby Bella is in the hospital so that she has something to read, sad that she wants to read my random comments!

Last night for FHE Kim, Donna and I were driving to Jefferson City (where FHE was) using a google map printout. Generally I like google maps and find the places I am trying to go. Well, we had a few mishaps with another car following behind us, the directions telling us to go right instead of left, etc. As we started home and got lost trying to reserve said directions Donna said too bad we don't have a GPS! Well, the sad thing is that we did - Kim has one that we have used before and was sitting in the middle console waiting and eager. We pulled it out and waited for a few mintues for it to find its bearings (satalite) and then tell us where to go, out own little Liahona! I was joking about how much that is like life that we have all this power, information, and ability and sometime just let it sit in our middle console waiting for a time to be used - if we would just open the scriptures, pray, attend the temple, etc. It is amazing how I miss things that are sometimes so very obvious.

WE have hired two new people at work to work under me and we did the training tonight. It went well - I just hope I can keep up with both of them and my crazy schedule - the good news is that this is the last week of classes!!!!! Only 1 quiz, 1 test and 1 essay left in the semester - if you can't tell I am very excited!

Change

Last night at FHE the lesson was about change, based on a talk from the last GC, called Get on With Our Lives (click to read). It talks about 4 things we can do to deal with change, 1) follow the prophet, 2) keep an eternal perspective, 3) have faith, and 4) be of good cheer. It is a nice article. As we discussed it I found it interesting to see how many people really hate change - for me I love change, that doesn't mean it isn't scary sometimes but I just really like newness and that is usually accompanied by change.
A change I am not looking forward to is that my good friend Kim is leaving Columbia sometime this summer. She resigned from her job as a professor here and is deciding on one of the offers she has been given for next year. This change is different - I am so happy she is going to be in a place that will make her happier and help her to fulfill her goals but I will miss her, miss working with her in primary, miss her friendship. It will be a harder change than usual for me because usually I am the one that moves not my friends. BUT I am going to follow the prophet, keep an eternal perspective, have faith and be of good cheer and all will work out for the good!

Throw your hat over the wall

I was watching a show today and it told this story that I thought was cool.

Three young men were traveling and came upon a huge wall. They couldn't find anyway around it and stopped to discuss what to do. They decided that they would throw their hats over the wall and then they would have to follow it. So they made a plan and struggled until they got over the wall.

I just thought that the story had so many different hidden messages about life within the story. Cyndi was telling me about a story she heard in Stake Conference about the Cookie Monster. The Cookie Monster won a game of some sort and was given three choices - 1) he could wait a week and get $250,000, 2) wait a day or two and get a dream car or 3) get a cookie right now. Guess what he chose - the cookie of course. So the speakers question is: are we choosing things over our goal of eternal life so that we can get the cookie? (this of course is paraphrased)

So then I was putting the two stories together and thought about how easy it is to do a several things - 1) it is easy to throw our hats over the wrong wall or chose to eat the cookie right now, 2) am I throwing my hat over the wall and then just sitting there and not going after it? and 3) do I look to climb the wall and not worry about how hard it is or do I move forward with all of my might to scale it and then move on to the next wall with vigor? Just some random thoughts I would share.

Refurbishing the chairs

I have been meaning to refurbish my kitchen chair cushions for some time now and finally did it. The white is the old ones and the flowers are the new. I really like them - added more stuffing to the cushions, so they are much softer now. They are just not the biggest chairs or the most comfy but I am very appreciative of them! They do their job well.