Noah?!

Well, I have been thinking a lot about Noah lately(those of you who know me well, know I love the story and collect the boats - strange I am sure). I think that it is a combination of many things - getting ready for comps, reading a certain talk, reading my scriptures and then the talks I have heard at church lately. So, the other day I was driving in the rain to work and I started having all of these thoughts in consecutive motion per say, that in Noah's day preparation for the boat was very literal, they built a boat, today what is our preparation, what boat am I building? So, I thought about a talk I had read that talked about having the faith to do what the Lord wants now and then actually doing it, like Noah did, even when we don't understand. I thought about how in many ways our boats are reading our scriptures, pondering, fasting, praying, attending the temple, fulfilling our callings willingly, serving out of pleasure and not out of obligation. I thought about the parable about the 10 virgins, knowing that they represent LDS members, those that know what to do and chose not to do until the very end. The scary part is that I probably am one of those 5 that waited on some things, I know I am not perfect and generally don't worry about that but, I think about what I can be perfect at now and then realize how far I have to go.
Recently, there was this talk in church, Brother Hainsworth (1st counselor in Bishopric) gave the talk, he talked about keeping our lives in tune with the Lords. He used the example of tunning a guitar and how if you tune it to itself then it will sound good by itself but if two guitars are tuned to themselves and then try and play together then it sounds awful! That you need to tune both to the piano key of E and then they sound wonderful together. He went on to talk about how we have to tune our lives to that which the Lord has asked, and that it doesn't work the other way. That we need to take our views and bend them to meet the Lord not the other way around. It was a very powerful talk - I am doing a lousy job of explaining it.
So, thinking about that talk lead me to Zion's Camp (I am rereading the Work and Glory series and that is where I just finished). So in Zion's Camp the Lord asked for 500 men to go and redeem Zion (Jackson County). So faithfully 2oo and something ended up there - not nearly what the Lord asked, many decided not to come and felt they didn't need to head the Lord command. Those that went felt like they were being obedient - they were literally walking, sacrificing time, talent and means, they left their families and livelihoods and for that they should be commended. BUT they had terrible attitudes, many of them, there was fighting and murmuring, they did not want to head what the prophet asked of them, all and all they begrudgingly followed the prophet and the Lord in the end, especially when it got hard. In the end the Lord revoked his command to redeem Zion until a time that the Saints were more willing and obedient. If you have noticed that hasn't happened again, not sure what that says about us. But what I was thinking about all of that is that they went but didn't have the right attitude, I do that sometimes - I will serve but not have my heart 100% in it, so is it really service.
Then I thought of people I know that have fallen away from the church for one reason or another. The sister I VT left because something was said about her family, Sharron has been struggling for a long time and even with help from her husband and people at church she has still stopped going to church. It makes me rethink all of my previous ideas and efforts in regards to the less active or inactive members of the church. It has become much more personal to me.

So, what does that have to do with Noah - everything I think. Am I ready and willing to follow the Lords will for me even when it is hard, Elizabeth is teaching me a lot about that right now, is my testimony centered on the rock of our Redeemer and Savior so that when the winds come, like in Helaman 5, I will be ready. Am I ready to do what he wants me to do, say what he wants me to say and be what he wants me to be? I don't know the answer to that but I do know that I am trying. Studying for comps and has me wonder about my study of the gospel. I feel like comps is one of the biggest tests of my life and I have studied harder than any other time in my life. But what does that say about me as a student of the gospel, isn't the test everyday? Well, I am sure you are tired of reading my ramblings. I am very excited that the test is on Monday and Tuesday and that it will be done - I hope and pray that I will not freeze up and that I will be able to perform well.