Thursday, April 3, 2008

Realization

For the past 19 hours or so I have been trying to figure out why I am so hesitant to tell people what happened. I thought at first it was because I was embarrassed but, honestly I did my best. Then I thought because it was awkward to tell everyone but finally I decided that it is because I have sop much great support I felt like I was letting everyone down. The hardest part of yesterday was not being able to answer Linda's question, which she thought I knew. Of everyone on the committee I know her the best, respect her the most and have spent the most time with her. It was hard not to please her I guess. Now, before anyone thinks anything I am not a pleaser like Shelly, Bob and Cyndi (I hope that is not news to any of you - I love you) but I don't want to let people down that have invested in me and that I care about. So, I am so glad that you guys are there - you buoy me up and help me through yucky times - I just don't want you to lose faith in me either. (Good thing work isn't that challenging today!)

3 comments:

Shelly Turpin said...

As a pleaser :), I have to say that I totally understand. :)

It sounds like things will work out just fine. When it is all over, you will be able to hold your head high and KNOW that you have earned your PhD and know everything that is needful.

We love you and are terribly proud of you. Hang in there. Love ya!

Blarney Girl said...

I think you're awesome and brave to be where you are, doing what you are doing! I love you!!

It's never easy to see it while it's happening, but I firmly believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason; even the disappointing stuff.

Chin up and know that A LOT of people are praying for you! :-)

CYNDI said...

I think we want to be able to share good news with those we love. But, the people we love are also the people who want to be there to let you know how amazing we think you are even if Linda didn't think so at that moment in time. We want you to tell us and we will not be disappointed in you, because we are already so proud of you.