Taking a Step Back to Move Forward

My good friend Amy (who is moving and it makes me sad for me and very happy and excited for her but I am going to miss her so much!) and I were talking on Sunday for FHE about Sister Dew's book God Wants a Powerful People, in it she talks about how sometimes we have to go backwards in order to move forward, she of course was referring to repentance and that got me thinking, that shouldn't be any kind of surprise.
The past few weeks I have felt really terrible, we have done one test after another and not really found anything to write home about so I just have tried to ignore the constant nausea, headaches, stomach pain and lack of energy and continue to work on my grant, work and church stuff. But it was really taking a lot out of me and I felt like I was slipping backwards. I was having a hard time feeling the Spirit, I was having a hard time having the desire to read the scriptures for anything but just because I knew I should, prayer was hard, etc. I knew that most of it had to do with feeling like crap, being tired and feeling like I couldn't control the situation at hand. I try hard never to get there - I see it coming and hit everything I know hard - I read more, go to the temple more, etc. Well, this time I was by myself and 2 hours from the temple and one of my best friends doesn't want to talk to me, I guess she isn't that any longer. So, I just kinda dealt until my doctor told me to go see a counselor because I seemed depressed, well that was a little bit of a wake-up call, I knew I wasn't doing well but no one was supposed to notice and my doctor did? I guess I have been spending quality time with her lately but come on!

So a few night later Shelly and I were IMing back and forth and that made me "come clean" with some of my struggles of late and she told me that Brother Wolfe said that when he hits the downward dip in the wave of spirituality that he attacks it with vigor. He gets up at 6am and act like a missionary, reads his scriptures, studies, prays until he feel back to where he should. I am very grateful for that advice, that is what big sisters are for! So, that is what I have done, except my body won't do 6am every morning this week but I tried as hard as I could, started reading for longer, praying out loud again and reading the Ensign, Sister Dew's book, and Jesus the Christ every day and it seems to be working. I feel much better now and no I didn't go and see a psychologist who can't fix this problem.
I am grateful for good friends that listen and a wonderful family that supports me and I hope that I am a support to as well.
I am so very grateful a Heavenly Father and Savior who love me, have a plan for me, gave me a strong and sometimes healthy body, bless my mind from time to time with thoughts that help me in my education and relationships and just bless my life with all that I need even when I don't know I need it.
I added the quotes (that are on the side) tonight - I hope that I can endure this life well as Elder Maxwell instructed, I hope that comes with time because right now I endure by screaming, yelling and whining, so we will see.