Peace

Last night my friends Amy and Jen and I went to the temple, it had been closed for a month and so we went as soon as we could. They redid all of the carpet, some of the furniture, the flowers, and most impressively they put down this beautiful marble floor in the entry way. It is really very beautiful! The weather here the past few days has been kinda yucky with a lot of snow and ice and so we carefully made our way there and when we got there the session was very small (about9 people). So we went through the session and it was so peaceful and wonderful. I had gone hoping to feel at peace that the Larson's would be okay through this period of joy and sorrow. It is strange to know something bad is going to happen and not be able to a thing about it. The Lord definitely blessed me with the peace while there and I just felt happy - this is truly the Lord's plan. It was so nice to go and sit in the celestial room, for about 20 minutes the three of us were alone and that was wonderful, I could live right there and be happy.

From there we went to eat, by the time we got there it was 8:00pm and we were very hungry. We chose a Mexican food restaurant and my friends got a taste of what it is like to go to a restaurant with me. It was very funny actually. I am very used to being waited on constantly while eating Mexican food so I did not notice anything and we did not argue about having our water full and chips filled. When we were leaving Amy commented that staff had all been checking me out all dinner - the funny thing is I didn't even notice. They said they had never been waited on so fervently before - I just thought it was normal. So, needless to say they gave me a hard time for a while on the ride home. I will just stock it up to good service! :)

The Lord's Plan is Often Hard to Understand

One of my closest friends, Elizabeth, had an ultrasound on the 19th for a long awaited baby. Liz and Aaron didn't care what the baby was just as long as it was healthy. She found out that the baby was a girl but also that there was something terribly wrong with her. Technical names aside the baby did not develop her skull or the skin above her eyebrows, exposing her brain to ammoniac fluid and in essence killing her. Her heart is still beating because her brain stem is protected but, the doctors say that she will not make it more than a few minutes here on earth, if she makes it that long. They have already been to a specialist that confirmed all of this and have prayed and prayed about what to do now. They have received the answer to go to about 34 weeks (May sometime) and then deliver, giving them the best chance at the few moment with her.
I am so sad for her and especially her children who have wanted a baby for almost 6 years. Sometimes it is really hard to understand why one is given inspiration to do something (in this instance get pregnant) if the outcome is going to be so terrible. Liz is Liz and so excepting that this is the Lords plan and that things will be okay. She said they spent the first night solely on the kids and helping them through everything until the cried themselves to sleep at 9:00 and then she was able to break down. I have watched too many people I love lose babies and I am not sure what is worse - knowing before hand or not. I wish this plan was a little easier and that there wasn't so much pain that last for such a long time.

What if the Tooth Fairy really does exist?

My brother, Nathan, lost his first tooth today while I was on the phone with my mom. He was really excited and now gets to put his tooth under his pillow and wait for the money to appear. Boy would I give anything to still be able to do that - of course toady I need it to be $100 bill and not .25 cents but you know everything is subjective. Hooray for childhood and the good memories that some silly traditions bring. As a child I always wondered how it really worked and how the tooth fairy knew that I had lost a tooth - the things that a child wonders about, I thought maybe that she was like Santa and could see everything - what we did right nad wrong and of course when we lost our teeth. I remember trying to stay up late one night and see if I could catch her slip the money under my pillow - it didn't work I was too tired by 9:00pm and fell off into my dreams. I wish sometimes for those days when I had someone that made me dinner, made me take a hot bath, then read me stories like Little House on the Prairie and The Borrowers, read scriptures with me and said prayers and then told me to go to bed by 8:30pm. I wish I could go to bed at 8:30, had time to read those great stories or even had someone to read to. What great memories.

Today when I was at work, entering the most boring data ever and trying in vain to stay awake I thought, I wonder what would happen if I didn't come back here and do this really uninviting work, how would really notice? Both of my jobs are weird right now. I started one in Jan. and still don't really have any real work to do yet - I am promised that it is coming but in the mean time they are just throwing things at me that are weird, not fun or completely away from the work I generally do. I am working on a marriage/relationship curriculum for low-income parents. Well, the person who has created it has done a ton of work but most of the time it is not appropriate for the target audience. So I have been given the unfortunate job of going through all 12 lessons and making suggestion on how to change it so that it makes sense for a low-income group of people. How fun! I don't have any idea how to do that tactfully sometimes - it is becoming more and more difficult as we move to lessons about finance. They had them making 5, 10, 15 year goals of where they would be and how they would budget their money then, they had them make a budget from the money they have now. Hard for any couple but when it was piloted with the program they had actual fights right there in the class - is there any wonder why? If you can't pay the bills, feed the kids and put gas in the car do you think that trying to decide what to do with the misc. fund is really a good idea? They wanted them to think about where they would be in 15 years career wise and how to get there. Most of them do not have careers - just ask them - they don't think that McDonald's, a factory or Wal-Mart is an actual career so it just is more frustrating! When they taught about career development, education (getting your GED) was never mentioned! WHAT? WHY? I was a little animated during that conversation - while sitting in a room with people have at least Masters degrees! I have to wonder a little sometimes. They have been great sports as I go off. We decided to tape our conversations so the girl writing it can capture everything - crazy!

Jumper and Random Thoughts

Tonight I went and saw the movie Jumper with my friend Kim. I rarely go to the movies here and so when I go I want it to be good! Well, it was a little weird - I won't say too much for those that want to go and see the flick but I do wonder about how some scripts make it to be movies. The trailers looked good though- the new Indiana Jones movie and a movie called The Happening by M. Night Shyamalan - Dallas we will have to pick a night and both go see and then call each other about what we thought - maybe several of us can do that - it would be fun. Kim and I talked about hte movie after and then just talked in my car for about an hour - that was fun.

My baby sister, Asia, turned 25 today - that is amazing. She has a beautiful baby girl and lives in my grandma's house and is happy - I am happy for her.

I wrote almost two abstracts last night and today and finished all of my students grades thus far. I am still uncertain what to do with the students that did not come to the debates, but I guess that will be sorted out on Wednesday - Monday is Presidents Day! I am doing 4 more interviews on Monday - I still have not even begun to transcribe the other 8 interviews and 2 focus groups. This should give you an idea of why - each interview is between 20-45 minutes long and takes between 2-3 hours to transcribe. The focus groups are between 1-1 1/2 hours long and take about 4-6 hours to transcribe. Many of my faithful readers (all 3 or 4 of you) have commented on my crazy schedule - well I really just don't have time to do this part. Too bad it would cost about $200 for each tape to be transcribed by someone else, I guess I will just be pushing the rewind button a lot in April.

If I get both of my abstracts accepted (fingers crossed) then I will go to Chicago in October and Little Rock in November (the leaves in full color is Little Rock). I am still uncertain when my friend is getting married in India but I am going whenever that is, she and her boyfriend have yet to get the parents on board but they will soon and then they can make plans. Those conferences will be my big vacations, well of course the reunion in the summer - which is only 3 hours from my house and San Diego in March - which I am really looking forward to. Not to complain but I feel so land locked here I just need a real vacation some time real soon!

I think that the longer I go to school the dumber I become! I forget so many things and I really am beginning to wonder about my ability to write! I haven't had to write anything real in a while so comps should be a lot of fun! I am not as nervous as I have been about taking the test - mainly just want to get them over with already! Now I just have to get my brain to cooperate and "be smart" just for those 8 hours that is all I am asking.

Well, that is probably enough, sorry for the rambling.

Teaching

This semester I am teaching at the community college that is about 45 minutes away. Generally I love the students, enjoy their energy and just am happy to get the chance to show that I can teach all on my own. This week my boss called and asked if we could talk, instantly my stomach feel but it was for naught. She wanted to know if I could teach summer and then 2 classes in the fall. Well, you my loving family should be so pleased that I decided that the family reunion was more important than the almost $2000 that I would get paid for 8 weeks of teaching in the summer, the last week of class is the same week of the reunion. I am going to teach for them in the fall though.

There were other first as well today. I finally got paid by them, it only is 6 weeks in the semester. My students were doing debates today and I had 5 kids not show up today that were suppose to go. I am still trying to figure out if I am going to provide some way of making that up - but they did leave their classmates in a lurch since they were in groups of 5 and 6 and each group only had 3 members each. The ones there did an excellent job of ab libbing and shotting from the hip. Another first, the campus police were looking for two of the students that did not show up. I have no idea why but didn't really want to know either.

Let's see - on Dallas's blog (http://blarneygirlblog.blogspot.com/) she talked about the weight training she is doing to lose weight. I wish I was so good. For me the most exercising lately I have been doing is to pick up another of the heavy books that I need to study from. I am hoping that after comps life will "slow down a little". I am sure that is a dream since I am conducting 2 studies, writing up two abstract for posters and will be writing up hopefully 3 papers with different people, not counting writing a grant for my committee and then doing my dissertation work - all by December. It's a good thing that there is 24 hours in a day and we get an extra 24 this year because of leap year !!!

Well, I am sure that you are totally bored and think I am crazy but you are the one still reading. :)

I Feel Yucky

I have felt yucky for a couple of weeks and I can't figure out what is wrong with me. I wish I knew so that I could get better study. I have been sleeping a lot lately - like more than 14 hours a day if I can. I keep thinking I will take a little nap and that turns into the rest of day and into the night. I just want to be better!

We Have a New Prophet

Today that official announcement was made that President Thomas Spencer Monson is now the 16th modern day prophet for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint. He is an awesome man whom the Lord has greatly prepared and I am sure will do an incredible job. His counselors are Elder Henry B. Eyring and Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf. It should be a wonderful presidency, much younger and very different from President Hinckley's. It seems so quick after the funeral but it is probably best.

Sad Saturday

Today I "attended" the funeral of President Hinckley. A news report said that 20,000 people attended in the conference center. It was really a beautiful and fitting farewell to a wonderful man. Until today I hadn't cried about losing him - I ultimately feel that keeping him as long as we did was a great blessing. It was really hard to think about never hearing him speak again and not seeing him wave his cane at us from the pulpit. But, in the end I know that the Lord took him in his time table and that President Monson will be an awesome prophet. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of what comes next and the blessing that is for us. There is no wondering who will win the bid for president or prophet, we already know and that knowledge gives me great comfort.

Today we also remember our dear little Declan. It's hard to believe that it has been a year, it has flown by. I am glad that Asia and Ben have been blessed with Aurora and when I talked to Asia today she sounded really good. I know that it was a hard week but I am amazed at how well she seems to be healing and dealing with things.

Today was a grim, yucky day here which added to the feeling of sadness, but then I looked out and there was a ray of sunshine poking through the gray clouds and illuminating the sky. I love how that happens and it always reminds me of the Lord's promises and love. I am grateful for his love and constant help in my life.